Draft Video Feedback

Both our teachers have given us feedback on what we should improve on when filming and editing our final video. We plan to take this feedback on board and do exactly what they say, because this will improve our grade. It is important we get feedback because we need to know what to do to maximise our grade, and feedback from teachers means they know what we are capable of and what improvements we are able to make. 


Mr Smith said:

"Further to what I said today here are some tips and things I've noticed. Before reading remember I've not bothered to tell you how brilliantly you've worked and that currently I'd place the video in band 3 (if the singing was convincing then it'd be band 4).

1. Band must be playing from the start, move clip from 14 seconds to before video and insert new performance sequence.
2. Maintain beat match that you have from 0-8 seconds until lyrics begin at 19 seconds.
3. Singer needs to sing
4. footprints are brilliant
5. mark the floor so the band are always stood on the same spot for the montage between 37-40
6. Keep electric guitar (ditch acoustic) in caravan for shot at 40 and subsequent interiors
7. I know 48 is a filler but the guitarist is excellent, get him to do that once the singer sings in the re-shoot.
8. 51 too random, something needs to be there for pace but I'm not sure it is that shot
9. 53-58 see previous point re guitar and floor markings
10 59-106 too much hula (or rather something interesting needs to happen, maybe insert performance)
11. 111-113 see the monkees credits and them on the beach, try and emulate that as currently it is just one man running down a hill (http://youtu.be/w2hzusE4veM)
12. 125 cut back to vocalist then remember floor markings for montage.
13. 126 not sure party strobe scene is clear enough (could it begin with an extablishing shot of exterior showing the caravan in darkness really brightly light and ready for a party?)
14. Cycling great. Could he leave a trail of something like brightly coloured chalk? (this would be unbelievably time consuming though)
15 137 -152 is very good but possibly too long without at least a brief cutaway to singer
16. I can't really comment on the forest as it is a bit rough around the edges and features Jess trying and failing to look a boy. Maybe take Tibbles' generator to the woods and rig up some fairy lights
17. 202-3 the faked darkness doesn't work
18. When in the boat don't be tight, give them some cocoa or something
19. The tent sequence is a nice idea but not yet there. Was the idea that the band are inside whilst someone outside makes a silhouette of a wolf and the band evacuate the tent?
20. 225 up to 247 as stated previously use electric guitar, get the singer to sing, less hula.
21. The asleep in my car isn't right
22. Play right up to the end then wander off."


We have taken each point into consideration and would like to meet all of them and make the necessary changes. Just some of things we are going to improve on with this are using an electric guitar in the caravan instead of an acoustic one. I think this will help to represent the music that is being played much  better. Something else we plan to change after looking at the list is the couple of shots of the lead singer being pushed down the hill. We are still going to use the idea of him being pushed, but also have the band messing around after he's gone down the hill so there's still a bit of action in the shot. Lastly we agree that there is too much hula dancing and something needs to be put in between because the viewer could get a bit bored. We have decided to film some more shots of the band in the boat, but this time in normal clothing and performing with all their equipment. This will break up the hula dancing scenes and change all the performance from just in the barn and caravan so it becomes more interesting.


Mrs Abrahamson said:


"Hi all,

Well done indeed. A video draft which demonstrates incredible planning, hard work, enthusiam and time-keeping.

Re the chalk idea that Mr Smith has suggested - you can get chidren's scooters which actually draw chalk as you scoot if you know anyone with one! ?
I can't top the 22 points but will reiterate the lead singer needing to open mouth wider! the bunk bed bit is a bit strange - avoid/change. Agree that music play unitl end, THEN walk off.
Keep up the hard work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

As this has been mentioned twice now, we fully understand that we desperately need to improve the lead singer. We need to do this by making him sing with more enthusiasm, open his mouth when he sings, look like he's enjoying himself much more as well as holding the microphone to his mouth. We have all agreed that we are definitely going to change the bunk bed shots for "tonight I will sleep in my car". After watching it back we have come up with much better ideas that will suit the genre of the video. Unfortunately we couldn't do exactly what we wanted with this scene because there wasn't enough room for a tripod between the beds. Lastly, we do feel a little stupid regarding the music still playing but the band walking off at the end- this should have been realised a long time ago and will definitely be changed!