Analysis Of The Feedback Received Regarding Our Music Video

After we had created our draft music video, we received feedback from both Mr. Smith and Mrs. Abrahamson:

Click Image To Enlarge

Click Image To Enlarge

After receiving the lengthy feedback from Mr. Smith, we used and did not use some  parts of his advice. I will talk through the points he has made and tell you the changes we have made with regards to his feedback.

1. We changed our video so that the band are playing in the lead up to the lead singer saying "oh, language is dead". However, some clips were deleted from memory sticks unintentionally and so we no longer had the new clip, so we had to fill up the space with other clips.
2. We have attained on-the-beat editing in the first opening seconds.
3. Singer is now singing and opening his mouth more.
4. No need for improvement.
5. We have used spots on the floor to ensure band members are in the same place when we are filming them.
6. We have changed the acoustic guitar for an electric guitar.
7. We tried this, but it does not work at all, as we cannot re-film a part that was unintentionally filmed  as it does not look natural like the draft version.
8. 51 seconds was used as another shot for the draft did not work - so we have changed that.
9. We have done this.
10. We have cut down on the hula and hawaiian, although it is still in the video.
11. We have adapted our original idea so that it seems more fun and genuine.
12. We will use this idea.
13. We are keeping the strobe lighting scene as we have tweeted the little comets and they said "The bit with the iPhone lighting is class".
14. We have used the idea of a trail of chalk.
15. We have cut back to the singer by using more of the boat scene.
16. We have developed the forest scene sufficiently.
17. The faked darkness was only for the draft to show where we intended to use 'night-time' shots.
18. We have given the band members cocoa. (Much against our own will).
19. We have tried to make our idea clearer that they are making shadow puppets that are clear to see from the inside and the outside, not people scaring them - so we have tried to make that a bit easier to understand for the audience.
20. Read and understood, captain.
21. We have changed the sleeping in the car to another shot from another scene that we have re-filmed.
22. We have done this - band members go out of the shot one by one as they finish playing their instruments.

Draft Video Feedback

Both our teachers have given us feedback on what we should improve on when filming and editing our final video. We plan to take this feedback on board and do exactly what they say, because this will improve our grade. It is important we get feedback because we need to know what to do to maximise our grade, and feedback from teachers means they know what we are capable of and what improvements we are able to make. 


Mr Smith said:

"Further to what I said today here are some tips and things I've noticed. Before reading remember I've not bothered to tell you how brilliantly you've worked and that currently I'd place the video in band 3 (if the singing was convincing then it'd be band 4).

1. Band must be playing from the start, move clip from 14 seconds to before video and insert new performance sequence.
2. Maintain beat match that you have from 0-8 seconds until lyrics begin at 19 seconds.
3. Singer needs to sing
4. footprints are brilliant
5. mark the floor so the band are always stood on the same spot for the montage between 37-40
6. Keep electric guitar (ditch acoustic) in caravan for shot at 40 and subsequent interiors
7. I know 48 is a filler but the guitarist is excellent, get him to do that once the singer sings in the re-shoot.
8. 51 too random, something needs to be there for pace but I'm not sure it is that shot
9. 53-58 see previous point re guitar and floor markings
10 59-106 too much hula (or rather something interesting needs to happen, maybe insert performance)
11. 111-113 see the monkees credits and them on the beach, try and emulate that as currently it is just one man running down a hill (http://youtu.be/w2hzusE4veM)
12. 125 cut back to vocalist then remember floor markings for montage.
13. 126 not sure party strobe scene is clear enough (could it begin with an extablishing shot of exterior showing the caravan in darkness really brightly light and ready for a party?)
14. Cycling great. Could he leave a trail of something like brightly coloured chalk? (this would be unbelievably time consuming though)
15 137 -152 is very good but possibly too long without at least a brief cutaway to singer
16. I can't really comment on the forest as it is a bit rough around the edges and features Jess trying and failing to look a boy. Maybe take Tibbles' generator to the woods and rig up some fairy lights
17. 202-3 the faked darkness doesn't work
18. When in the boat don't be tight, give them some cocoa or something
19. The tent sequence is a nice idea but not yet there. Was the idea that the band are inside whilst someone outside makes a silhouette of a wolf and the band evacuate the tent?
20. 225 up to 247 as stated previously use electric guitar, get the singer to sing, less hula.
21. The asleep in my car isn't right
22. Play right up to the end then wander off."


We have taken each point into consideration and would like to meet all of them and make the necessary changes. Just some of things we are going to improve on with this are using an electric guitar in the caravan instead of an acoustic one. I think this will help to represent the music that is being played much  better. Something else we plan to change after looking at the list is the couple of shots of the lead singer being pushed down the hill. We are still going to use the idea of him being pushed, but also have the band messing around after he's gone down the hill so there's still a bit of action in the shot. Lastly we agree that there is too much hula dancing and something needs to be put in between because the viewer could get a bit bored. We have decided to film some more shots of the band in the boat, but this time in normal clothing and performing with all their equipment. This will break up the hula dancing scenes and change all the performance from just in the barn and caravan so it becomes more interesting.


Mrs Abrahamson said:


"Hi all,

Well done indeed. A video draft which demonstrates incredible planning, hard work, enthusiam and time-keeping.

Re the chalk idea that Mr Smith has suggested - you can get chidren's scooters which actually draw chalk as you scoot if you know anyone with one! ?
I can't top the 22 points but will reiterate the lead singer needing to open mouth wider! the bunk bed bit is a bit strange - avoid/change. Agree that music play unitl end, THEN walk off.
Keep up the hard work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

As this has been mentioned twice now, we fully understand that we desperately need to improve the lead singer. We need to do this by making him sing with more enthusiasm, open his mouth when he sings, look like he's enjoying himself much more as well as holding the microphone to his mouth. We have all agreed that we are definitely going to change the bunk bed shots for "tonight I will sleep in my car". After watching it back we have come up with much better ideas that will suit the genre of the video. Unfortunately we couldn't do exactly what we wanted with this scene because there wasn't enough room for a tripod between the beds. Lastly, we do feel a little stupid regarding the music still playing but the band walking off at the end- this should have been realised a long time ago and will definitely be changed!

Feedback: Draft Music Video

Mr Smith said...

Both Mrs Abrahamson will offer you feedback on this.

Congratulations on producing a complete draft, many of the shots are framed beautifully and it resembles your animatic very closely.

31 October 2011 10:29

Mr Smith said...

Further to what I said today here are some tips and things I've noticed. Before reading remember I've not bothered to tell you how brilliantly you've worked and that currently I'd place the video in band 3 (if the singing was convincing then it'd be band 4).

Mr Smith's 22 pointers:

1. band must be playing from the start, move clip from 14 seconds to before video and insert new performance sequence.
2. Maintain beat match that you have from 0-8 seconds until lyrics begin at 19 seconds.
3. Singer needs to sing
4. footprints are brilliant
5. mark the floor so the band are always stood on the same spot for the montage between 37-40
6. Keep electric guitar (ditch acoustic) in caravan for shot at 40 and subsequent interiors
7. I know 48 is a filler but the guitarist is excellent, get him to do that once the singer sings in the re-shoot.
8. 51 too random, something needs to be there for pace but I'm not sure it is that shot
9. 53-58 see previous point re guitar and floor markings
10 59-106 too much hula (or rather something interesting needs to happen, maybe insert performance)
11. 111-113 see the monkees credits and them on the beach, try and emulate that as currently it is just one man running down a hill (http://youtu.be/w2hzusE4veM)
12. 125 cut back to vocalist then remember floor markings for montage.
13. 126 not sure party strobe scene is clear enough (could it begin with an extablishing shot of exterior showing the caravan in darkness really brightly light and ready for a party?)
14. Cycling great. Could he leave a trail of something like brightly coloured chalk? (this would be unbelievably time consuming though)
15 137 -152 is very good but possibly too long without at least a brief cutaway to singer
16. I can't really comment on the forest as it is a bit rough around the edges and features Jess trying and failing to look a boy. Maybe take Tibbles' generator to the woods and rig up some fairy lights
17. 202-3 the faked darkness doesn't work
18. When in the boat don't be tight, give them some cocoa or something
19. The tent sequence is a nice idea but not yet there. Was the idea that the band are inside whilst someone outside makes a silhouette of a wolf and the band evacuate the tent?
20. 225 up to 247 as stated previously use electric guitar, get the singer to sing, less hula.
21. The asleep in my car isn't right
22. Play right up to the end then wander off.

These are both the comments Mr Smith posted on our final draft music video post; we took this advice well for our re-filming process and have either accepted the comments or adjusted our draft video plan and made it fit into the timing. For example we have changed the start (referring to comment 1), as we have the band playing their instruments at the start whilst the lead singer is making his way to the performance location.

Personally I agree with the majority of these comments and think that the changes we are in the process of making are all the right ones in terms of our style of video.

Mrs Abrahamson said...

Hi all,

Well done indeed. A video draft which demonstrates incredible planning, hard work, enthusiam and time-keeping.

Re the chalk idea that Mr Smith has suggested - you can get chidren's scooters which actually draw chalk as you scoot if you know anyone with one! ?
I can't top the 22 points but will reiterate the lead singer needing to open mouth wider! the bunk bed bit is a bit strange - avoid/change. Agree that music play unitl end, THEN walk off.
Keep up the hard work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



We also agree with the comment Mrs Abrahamson gave us on the post as she suggests similar changes to Mr Smith; she also emphasises that the lead singer needs to open his mouth more and look more enthusiastic - we have covered this within our re-filming throughout.

As an individual I also appreciated the comment 'Keep up the hard work!!!!!!!' as this gives us encouragement as a group for our entire refilming process; which we have now finished.

Finalising a design:

1) I have a dilemma of the lounge location panel for my digipak; I am unsure whether to have the black object on the floor, fireplace or coffee table. I would like to get feedback about this from my group, peers or teachers before I post my final idea.

2) I have a second choice to make between these two central panels for my digipak, it will be the first page you see when you open the booklet up...

Feedback: Digipak and Poster

My feedback sheet given was as expected; I did not like my digipak at all and completely regretted my idea choice as soon as I had completed it, I was expecting the worse in a sense as I was hoping that my teachers would not like it either. I will change my ideas completely and start from scratch taking inspiration heavily from another band's existing digipak.

I was marked a 2/10 for my digipak due to:
Digipak lacks cohesion, the cover is ok but the rest just doesn't work. The burgundy isn't very indie and the window whilst a bit Magritte isn't Magritte. The back cover doesn't need HMV and Apple, it does need legal jargon though. The band sitting down is boring and just seems like a filter and the three panels spanned by 'The Skeleton Boys' seems like a kids party CD.
Following this I was marked another 2/10 for:
Poster. Better, still that horrid colour though. This could work but needs to be more striking and strong (Meg's works because she's ripped off The XX), I'm not sure lower case works. Kerrang and the Telegraph aren't appropriate reviews. I don't think the shadow font is right either.

- I completely agree with the feedback I received and am more than happy to start over again; I did not like my design at the time after I had created it but I decided to receive feedback on it anyway to find out how to improve my general ideas as I could not quite bring it to life.
However I have now been set on track with an idea, and will create a second draft to present to my teachers before finalising my design.

Digipak and Poster Feedback

This is just in brief the feedback I recieved from both of my teachers. Keeping it this simple allows me to understand exactly what I need to change in order to get the best results possible.

Digipak

-The front cover is excellent.-Panels with repeated skeleton needs changing. 
-Put ZED on poster.
-Go for black spine not grey.

3-4/10 D

Poster 



-

6/10 Top C to top ANice.
-Perhaps use 4 times Skeleton Boys as there are 4 band members.
-Legal stuff needed.

Below is the sheet I was given that contained the feedback:

Megan Rhodes A2 Feedback Sheet Research and Planning Etc 2011 2012

DigiPac Feedback

After having received feedback from my peers and from my teacher, we collectively decided that the font of "Run" did not fit the DigiPac. So I have looked and selected fonts that are bolder and perhaps more gothic to suit the artwork in both my poster and my digipac. I will put this picture on facebook and ask them which one they think will look better and put the feedback on a later post.